The greatest danger facing American society today? Without a doubt, English majors

[h/t Crooks and Liars, Evil Bender

For those of you toiling away in filthy unventilated classrooms, working hard to subvert the foundations of American society in your oversubscribed comp and survey courses, I’ve got some bad news: Phyllis Schlafly is onto you.

Sadly, No! brings us the bulletin:

“Advice to College Students: Don’t Major in English”, reads the headline, and for once, it seems like Phyllis is making sense. Unfortunately, however, the follow-up text doesn’t focus on how our hyper-capitalist society, degraded by decades of absorbing G.O.P. values, no longer esteems the arts, so if you major in English you will end up working at Der Wienerschnitzel. Nor does it warn that, should you major in English, you run a significant risk of growing up to be Mary Grabar. No, instead, Phyllis focuses on the most dreadful prospect of all: majoring in English will turn you into a mass-murdering Communist.

Read it, then look around you: did you ever think that you were that threatening?  No, I didn’t, either.



2 responses to “The greatest danger facing American society today? Without a doubt, English majors

  1. Ugh. If conservatives knew how very conservative most English departments really are, and how much of their nods to gender, race, and class are lip service, they’d give us a break. Academics are liberal in the same way church-goers are conservative; almost everything we say we believe in expresses anxiety that we truly believe the opposite.

  2. dave mazella

    Well, if Phyllis Schlafly is coming out against us, we must be doing something right.