For those of you toiling away in filthy unventilated classrooms, working hard to subvert the foundations of American society in your oversubscribed comp and survey courses, I’ve got some bad news: Phyllis Schlafly is onto you.
Sadly, No! brings us the bulletin:
“Advice to College Students: Don’t Major in English”, reads the headline, and for once, it seems like Phyllis is making sense. Unfortunately, however, the follow-up text doesn’t focus on how our hyper-capitalist society, degraded by decades of absorbing G.O.P. values, no longer esteems the arts, so if you major in English you will end up working at Der Wienerschnitzel. Nor does it warn that, should you major in English, you run a significant risk of growing up to be Mary Grabar. No, instead, Phyllis focuses on the most dreadful prospect of all: majoring in English will turn you into a mass-murdering Communist.
Read it, then look around you: did you ever think that you were that threatening? No, I didn’t, either.